A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes.

He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube."

The man says, "Sorry officer I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I'll have a really bad asthma attack."

"Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample." "I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed to death."

"Well, then we need a urine sample."

Two atoms are walking down the street and they run in to each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I'm positive!"

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocain during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication!

One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Jonestown wakes up early and goes to their local church. Before the service starts, the townspeople sit in their pews and talk about their lives and their families.

A burglary was recently committed at West Ham's ground and the entire contents of the trophy room were stolen. The police are looking for a man with a claret & blue carpet.

The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the distance a voice shouts out "Charlton are good enough to win the European Cup." Snow White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!"

Q: How does Stan Collymore change a lightbulb?
A: He holds it in the air, and the world revolves around him

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

91. Put your glasses on before you go to bed. Take them off as soon as you wake up. If your roommate asks, explain that they are Magic Dream Glasses. Complain that you've been having terrible nightmares.

Charlie Chaplin

bussola Nota disambigua - Se stai cercando altri significati di Chaplin, vedi Chaplin (disambigua).
« Mi dispiace, ma io non voglio fare l'imperatore, non è il mio mestiere, non voglio governare né conquistare nessuno, vorrei aiutare tutti se è possibile, ebrei, ariani, uomini neri e bianchi, tutti noi esseri umani dovremmo aiutarci sempre... »

(Discorso del barbiere ebreo/Chaplin ne Il grande dittatore (1940) )
Charlie Chaplin nei panni di "Charlot" (The Tramp) Statuetta dell'Oscar Oscar alla carriera 1929
Statuetta dell'Oscar Oscar alla carriera 1972

Academy Awards

Chaplin won one Oscar in a competitive category, and was given two honorary Academy Awards.

Competitive award
In 1972, he won an Oscar for the Best Music in an Original Dramatic Score for the 1952 film Limelight, which co-starred Claire Bloom. The film also features an appearance with Buster Keaton, which was the only time the two great comedians ever appeared together. Due to Chaplin's political difficulties, the film did not play a one-week theatrical engagement in Los Angeles when it was first produced. This criterion for nomination was unfulfilled until 1972.

Chaplin in costume as The Tramp
Born Charles Spencer Chaplin, Jr.
16 April 1889(1889-04-16)
Walworth, London, England
Died 25 December 1977 (aged 88)
Vevey, Switzerland
Occupation Actor, Director
Years active 1914 - 1976[1]
Spouse(s) Mildred Harris (1918-20)
Lita Grey (1924-28)
Paulette Goddard(1936-42)
Oona O'Neill (1943-77)
[show]Awards won
Academy Awards
Academy Honorary Award
1929 The Circus
1972 Lifetime Achievement
Best Original Music Score
1952 Limelight
Other Awards
NYFCC Award for Best Actor
1940 The Great Dictator
Career Golden Lion

Adyghe (Middle East) Wipchadiz shoo
Adyghe (Middle East) Femahoophoh
Afrikaans (Southern Africa) Goeie môre
Aklanon (Philippines) Mayad nga agahon
Aklanon (Philippines) Mayad-ayad nga agahon
Albanian (Albania, Yugoslavia) Mirëmëngjes
[Aleut, see Unagan]
Amharic (Ethiopia) [to male] Indemin adderk
Amharic (Ethiopia) [to female] Indemin addersh
Amharic (Ethiopia) [to several] Indemin adderachihu
[Amungme, see Damal]

How to Watch YouTube on Your iPod

With a few minutes of work, it's easy to watch YouTube videos on your iPod video.

Windows:

Follow these steps:

1. Download and install the free Firefox web browser.
2. Install the Greasemonkey extension for Firefox.
3. Go to http://www.userscripts.org/ and install the Download YouTube Video script.